0:01
Have you ever felt like an imposter or a fraud? You know, those feelings where you think you’re not good enough or you don’t deserve to be at your university or your college, or you’re not skilled enough to have a particular leadership role or to be part of this really prestigious internship? What are those situations? Is anyone causing you to feel like an imposter? What do you think you can achieve if you weren’t dealing with these imposter feelings? Well, let’s talk about it thriver. Here we go.
0:39
Welcome to Thrive IN™ and greetings from Houston, Texas. This is Dr. IJ your very own life coach. Thrive IN™ is a life coaching podcast for college students. And believe me, you are in the right place if you’re committed to becoming the highest and truest version of yourself while making the most of
1:00
Your time in college. This is session number six. And for this session, I’ll share about a common reaction most high achieving people like yourself deal with and that’s the imposter experience in college. For this session, I want to help you learn that you are more than enough to succeed in any aspect of your life, whether it’s in your classes or for a leadership position or at a job or internship. I’ll also equip you with the strategies that will help you to unlearn any fake news you might have internalized about yourself. After this, I do believe that you will gain greater motivation to pursue your life in college more authentically and with greater confidence. The reason I find it so important to talk about this common reaction or this common experience known as imposter syndrome, or imposter experience, is because it affects so many college students but it oftentimes goes
2:00
unrecognized and I want to talk about the imposter experience because I don’t want you to develop this unnecessary anxiety and extra stress, or deal with low self-confidence, or shame and self-doubt while sitting in your classes or contemplating whether or not you want to pursue a particular leadership role because imposter feelings definitely has the potential to limit your exploration and your courage to pursue new experiences. I also think it’s important to talk about this topic because I want you to have a really positive experience. Talking about imposter feelings is also important because it affects how you are caring for yourself. All in all, the imposter experience is definitely a barrier to bringing out the best you and helping you to carry out your best life. And so that’s what I want to talk to you about—how to live your best life in college by tackling any imposter feelings you may have. After this particular session, I’m confident that you’re going to gain a stronger
3:00
understanding of the imposter experience and how important it is to really try to overcome them. And I want to share with you some strategies to address imposter feelings. And I definitely believe that you’re going to have this renewed sense of motivation to engage without this reservation and to be more authentic in everything that you’re doing. What is the thing that I’m talking about today, the imposter experience, you probably have heard of imposter syndrome. But the word ‘syndrome’ people are not using that word as often because syndrome kind of sounds like a psychological concern. Imposter syndrome is not a psychological disorder. It’s a common experience that most of us, roughly 80% of all people, that’s a lot of people— 80% of all people will experience imposter feelings at one point in their lives or another since it’s this common occurrence. I like to refer to it as the imposter experience versus imposter syndrome or sometimes I’ll call it imposter feelings or imposter
4:00
reaction. So what does the imposter experience mean? It’s typically when you have this persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud, you also have this inability to internalize or become aware of your own achievements, your successes, and your accomplishments. Someone who’s dealing with imposter feelings may have convinced themselves that they don’t even deserve the success that they’ve achieved, or they simply dismiss their success as something that was due to good luck or good timing. Like someone dealing with imposter feelings probably believes that they fooled other people to believe that they are capable and competent. You might be wondering who does the imposter experience effect. It’s a universal experience and oftentimes high achieving individuals like yourself will encounter imposter feelings at some point in your lives or another. So the imposter experience doesn’t just happen to students or young people. Older people might encounter imposter feelings.
5:00
Your advisers, they may feel like imposters in their roles as well. So just know that it’s kind of a lifelong process, you might be able to overcome imposter feelings in one space and then you enter a new space and then you have those feelings start up again. So it’s a lifelong process, a lifelong journey. But my goal today is to really give you the tools to be able to tackle these imposter feelings head on so that it could become easier and easier to deal with as time progresses. But for you, as a student, I want to focus on the imposter experience for yourself as a student in college. So when you think about who does the imposter experience effect, imposter experience happens to all sorts of people, no matter your personality, you could be an extroverted person or an introverted person, it really doesn’t matter. It affects you, regardless of your personality, it may show up differently and look differently for the extroverted person versus the introverted person. And so when you think about like social identity, for example, your racial identity or your gender identity or whatever the category might be,
6:00
you might get imposter feelings especially when you feel like you’re the other or you are outnumbered. So let’s take, for example, your gender identity. Let’s say you are a woman in a space full of men, right? And maybe you’re the only girl in your engineering class and they’re nothing but guys in there. So you might feel like an imposter because you are outnumbered in feeling like you are the only person or you’re outnumbered, you might feel out of place which could lead you to feel like an imposter when indeed you are not. But those feelings can arise, especially when you see that you are the other or the only one quote unquote, in that space. So when you think about who the imposter experience affects, you could also even think about celebrities. I mean, these are really high achieving individuals who have millions and millions of dollars, and they’re really good at their craft, yet they feel like imposter sometimes. So I want to share with you some of the quotes that very famous actresses and musicians and directors have shared about the imposter experience. Viola Davis
7:00
she’s this Oscar winning actress from How to Get Away with Murder. She’s done numerous movies, she says that it feels I’m reading quote, “It feels like my hard work has paid off. But at the same time, I still have the imposter syndrome. I still feel like I’m gonna wake up and everybody’s going to see me for the hack I am.” This is Viola Davis. She’s terrific at what she does, yet she even feels like an imposter sometimes. Let’s look at Jennifer Lopez. Wow. I mean, she’s sold a lot of albums right? She’s a very popular singer, actress, dancer, whatever, right? So here’s what she said. She said, “even though I had sold 70 million albums there, I was feeling like I’m no good at this.” Jennifer Lopez, she still feels like she’s no good at what she does when she’s excellent at what she does. And then lastly, Chuck Lorre. He’s a TV series director or
8:00
producer. Here’s what he says, “when you go and watch a rehearsal of something you’ve written and it stinks. The natural feeling is I stink. I’m a fraud. I need to go and hide.” That’s what Chuck Lorre says. And he writes these Emmy Award winning TV shows, right? So all of these celebrities who are highly successful at times feel like an imposter. So if you recognize that these individuals feel like imposters themselves, surely a lot of people would feel like an imposter as well. So that kind of helps to normalize this experience to know that you are not alone and feeling this way. So when you think about some common places, or locations or settings where you might have these imposter experiences, you can think about the academic setting. For example, if there’s a class dialogue, and everyone in the group has to like answer a question posed by your professor, and everyone’s raising their hands, that’s a space when you can sort of feel like an imposter because there’s this expectation that
9:00
You share some knowledge or your perspective. And you might feel a little shy to say something because you don’t want to say the wrong things. Or you don’t want to say something that sounds silly or you don’t want to show that you don’t have a lot of insight about that particular topic. Also, during class presentations will you have to stand up in front of the entire class that is so scary public speaking is always scary for anyone, whether you’re young or older, is something that a lot of people have a fear around. Also, when you think about the work setting, think about job interviews. A lot of people feel like imposters when they go for a job interview or an internship interview or when they’re starting a new position and think about that time maybe if you’ve had a job before, like when you started like your first day or your first week, remember how you felt what were those feelings and thoughts that you had? I know in those spaces, you don’t have all the knowledge or how to perform particular tasks for your job. And so imposter feelings can certainly creep up when you are starting a new position. You could also feel like an imposter when you want
10:00
The goal for a student leadership role on campus. I remember as a college student, I wasn’t really involved on campus and then one summer I realized how much I really wanted to be a student leader on campus. I remember seeing a flyer that was posted on the wall of my residential hall I came out of the elevator saw that flyer and I was stuck there staring at the flyer I couldn’t move people were passing me by I was just stuck because I was having a dilemma in that moment. was I going to take the information as to who to contact about applying for the position? Or was I going to walk away and keep going and just forget about trying to become a student leader on campus. And so I was just stuck there staring at that flyer because I was having those imposter feelings. Some of the thoughts that were going through my brain was Well, I mean, I’ve never been a student leader on campus. I don’t really know how to be a student leader. Am I going to be any good at this? Am I enough to do this like all of these questions and self-doubt thoughts continue to run through my mind and that’s what
11:00
I was contemplating in that moment. But thankfully I did decide to apply for the position. And I actually got the position and I won building president of the Year for that particular school year. So if I didn’t step out on courage and just do it, whether I was anxious or not, I wouldn’t have gotten to see myself actually thrive in that position and actually win the building president of the Year for that particular school year. Now, when you think about when imposter feelings show up, they usually show up when you’re experiencing something new, something that you don’t have a lot of experience doing when you’re starting a new job, a new endeavor, the imposter experience can definitely be a lifelong journey, but it can improve over time. Like I mentioned before, when you start something new, you kind of get familiar with it and those imposter feelings can go away. And then if you enter a new experience, those imposter feelings may show up again, because you have to relearn something. So it just simply occurs throughout
12:00
one’s lifetime at various points. I want to break it down a little bit more for you in terms of how the imposter experience shows up, like what does it look like? So I want to talk to you about the thoughts you may have some of the feelings that may come about as a result of these imposter feelings. And I want to talk to you about the behaviors that show up when you feel like an imposter, in terms of how you think you might believe that you are not capable of doing something like you don’t have the skill set needed to pursue something you don’t feel like you deserve, or you don’t believe that you deserve a particular role in class or in a leadership role or an internship, whatever the case may be some of the other things that you may think about, you may dwell on your failures, you may dwell on your mistakes, you may dwell on critical feedback that you’ve received before where someone is kind of critiquing you or saying something that you don’t like about yourself, and you continue to dwell on that and that impacts how you show up or how you feel in terms of how you think you might even feel that
13:00
Your personality or your charm got you to a particular position instead of your ability to do a particular job. How does the imposter experience show up in terms of how you feel about yourself, you might feel fearful anxiety might show up, you might feel nervous. And you might have these feelings like you’re a phony, like you’re a fraud or fake when it comes to what you do or how you act because you have these thoughts and feelings. You might even withdraw from a situation like let’s say you’re in a social setting with a group of acquaintances that you think are cooler than you or better than you, you might withdraw from that situation because it’s so uncomfortable. That’s another reaction because of these imposter feelings. You might even decide to isolate yourself to be by yourself because it’s just more comfortable. Also, when people aren’t having these imposter thoughts and feelings, they may stay silent. For example, think about in class when the professor asks a question and everyone starts to raise their hand. And in those moments, you might choose to be silent.
14:00
Because you don’t want to expose yourself as a fraud, you might find yourself overworking yourself, like staying up late hours to perfect a presentation because you don’t want to appear as if you don’t know what you’re talking about. So you stay up late. You study, study, study, you perfect the PowerPoint, practice your speech over and over. And you have to be really careful about that. Because like I said, you can burn yourself out, you may run the risk of losing all the energy you need to continue your pursuits. I want to talk to you a bit about why you might be having imposter feelings or why does the imposter experience even happen? So what it is, is that there’s certain stimuli or situations that trigger the imposter reaction. For example, you might be in a competitive environment where people are trying to outperform each other or trying to make the best grade or trying to win a leadership role or trying to win like Employee of the Year when there’s competition. There’s pressure
15:00
to perform comparison is a huge reason why you might feel like an imposter when you start comparing yourself to someone who you believe to be more skilled than you. That’s when these imposter feelings can show up if your professor or your advisor has set these high expectations for you, that requires a lot of accountability and focus and performance and all of that these imposter feelings can show up in those situations as well. Another common one is because you have limited experience. So you might have these imposter feelings when you feel like you don’t have that much knowledge or skill in a particular area. Another reason why you might feel like an imposter is because you have limited social or cultural capital. Well, what does that mean? So what I mean by social and cultural capital is let’s say you are in a social setting a class and everyone comes from a particular region of the country. Let’s say you’re in the north, right but you are the only one
16:00
from the south and you have this really heavy Southern accent, and you are afraid to raise your hand to speak in class because of your Southern accent and the stereotype that may come with that Southern accent. You don’t want to fit into that stereotype. So you choose to stay silent. social cultural capital is something that maybe the majority of a group may possess that you don’t have. For example, in northern accent in that situation, you don’t have a northern accent. And so because you are the other or you’re kind of outnumbered in that space, you might feel like an imposter. social cultural capital also means things like how much exposure you’ve had in a particular culture or any social skills that you may have, or your way of speaking or your way of just being might be different from the majority of the group. So when it’s distinct like that, you might have these imposter feelings. And as I just mentioned, stereotype threat stereotype threat is when you don’t want to carry out a
17:00
stereotype about your identity group. If I am the only African American woman in a space full of white men, I may be fearful of carrying out a stereotype about black women, once they feel type about black woman, unfortunately, is that we are loud or angry or whatever the case may be. I myself I am not a stereotype. I don’t consider myself to be constantly loud and I am not an angry person. So in a classroom setting However, those imposter feelings can show up because you’re fearful that the group may view you as the stereotype. So you have the stigma in your mind and that stigma saying that you should not show up as the stereotype. And so what you do you withdraw, you silence yourself because of that fear and that’s an imposter feeling. Another reason why you might be feeling like an imposter is because you’ve internalized some thoughts about yourself based off of your past. Maybe
18:00
Someone from your past that was really important to you told you that you were not good at something told you you were not a good reader or a speaker that you were not going to be able to go to college. Sometimes these comments that loved ones share with us or people who may not be loved ones. Share with us can stay with us. And although you may feel like you’ve gotten over that comment or you don’t really think about that comment once you enter these high expectation environments where you have to perform or there’s competition or you’re outnumbered, sometimes these internalized feelings will resurface you like where did that come from? Why am I all of a sudden having feelings of self-doubt or feeling like I’m not going to be any good at this because this person from my past told me that and so it can have a haunting feeling. My hope is to help you unlearn some of these internalized thoughts later on. Another good reason why you might feel like an imposter is because when you’re in a social setting, and you feel like you’re being excluded by other people, certainly when you feel left out.
19:00
You can feel like an imposter like you do not belong. Another reason is when you notice differences and how you’re being treated in comparison to other people in a group. Now, I’d like to ask you, have you ever felt like an imposter for the variety of reasons that I’ve provided? And if you have, how are you currently dealing with it? How do you want to tackle these imposter feelings? How are you going to overcome them? I’d like to share some strategies with us to how you can overcome any imposter experience. First and foremost, it’s important to shape your mindset, you’re going to ask yourself, did I meet the qualifications for this internship or this job or this leadership role? Or to be at this university? Your answer is likely Yes. So I want you to ponder over that and dwell on that factor. You certainly belong and deserve to be there. I also want you to feel okay with failure. Now failure. I want you to read the find failure or just to consider it as falling
20:00
What happens when you fall, you get right back up and you keep going. And that’s the beauty of it. You just get back up and you keep going. Once you fall, you learn from a mistake or you learn, you get new knowledge. And then you get up and you continue to move forward. Oftentimes, people view failure as like a more permanent situation. And you don’t have to view it that way. You could just view failure as you simply falling and then there’s an opportunity to get right back up. failure can be a really good teacher. So take advantage of it and learn from it. So with that, it’s really about confidently making mistakes. When you make mistakes and you’re confident about it like you make a mistake. Oops, that happened. Okay. Learn from it moving on. If you show confidence and moving forward, other people will follow suit, they will treat you the way you treat yourself. If you shrivel up and you show that you are self-conscious about what happened, then they’re going to be wary of you as well. So show people how you want to be treated constantly. make mistakes.
21:00
This makes it harder for others to view you as someone who’s not capable. And if you’re anxious like I was to pursue a leadership role, and you’re that person who’s also staring at that flyer on the wall and having this dilemma as to whether or not you’re going to pursue a leadership role or not, I want you to just do it be like Nike and just do it. If you’re anxious. Do it anyway. I also want you to be patient. Anything that’s worth doing takes time, you cannot learn a new craft or new knowledge. Simply overnight. Think about a tree and think about a weed. When you plant a tree, it takes time for it to be well grounded into the surface. And so a tree is very strong and unshakable. So you want to be a tree but the thing about it is real growth takes time. So when you think about a weed, a weed can be easily pluck. It doesn’t take much time for weeks to sprout out and grow. Its root is not deep. It’s very shallow and it’s easily
22:00
destroyed. So I encourage you to be like a tree to be patient with yourself in your growth and to be comfortable in that trust the process of growth and know that if you have the drive to get from point A to point B to pass that class to get that leadership roles, get that internship, know that you will certainly achieve your goals. If you have the drive, you will certainly get there. Another thing is to take time to unlearn any negative thoughts or feelings you may have. spend time thinking about those feelings that may currently haunt you or to think about your past and think about things that hurt you. I want you to take time to get to know yourself to unlearn some of these negative ideas because they are not true. If someone told you that you are stupid or incapable or that you would never succeed, know that you will succeed if you have the drive and cancel that idea from your brain and really, really engage in self talk if you have to, to become aware of the thing that happened in your past and to tell you about
23:00
I am not that I am not someone who is incapable I am absolutely capable. And with time, I will certainly achieve my goal. So while you’re unlearning these negative thoughts about yourself, I want you to also think about those stereotypes that haunt you stereotypes that you don’t want to show up as stereotypes about your identity groups that you do not believe apply to yourself. Think about those stereotypes, how they make you feel. Think about who you genuinely are, and know that you are not a stereotype. So some stereotypes may be a stigma in your mind, I want you to unlearn some of these stereotypes and know that you are more than capable you are more than whatever this stereotype about an identity group of yours says about you, I want you to take time to identify those stereotypes that are a threat to you and unlearn these ideas by knowing who you are and that you are not a stereotype. Now if you are in a situation where people
24:00
are excluding you from being involved or excluding you by not inviting you know that there is nothing wrong with you, the people who are mistreating you are actually problematic, okay? So I do not want you to internalize any negative ideas about yourself because a group of people do not invite you out or not making you feel included. It’s not you, it’s them with that I want you to be able to recognize other people’s areas of growth because as human beings, no one is perfect. We all have our strengths. We all have areas that we can improve upon. Oftentimes when people are in competitive environments, they feel like someone is better than them or more skilled or more likable, be able to identify the areas of growth in those people that you think so highly of because we all have areas that we can improve upon. Everyone has something to contribute in their own unique way, no one is better than another person. Another tip, I’d like to offer you to overcome
25:00
imposter feelings is to keep a success document. I’m a real advocate of writing things down. So I want you to have a success document where you just write, write, write, list all of your accomplishments. list your success stories, list your talents, your abilities list, why you deserve to be in college, why you deserve to have a leadership role. List all of these great qualities about yourself list what you have to offer list of things that you are proud of about yourself outside of the college context. Just know that you were chosen for a reason in admissions, or whatever the case may be, know that you qualify to be in college or you qualify for any pursuit that you’re taking. And I want you to internalize that positive information about yourself take in positive affirmations. When I was in college, I found it really hard to accept positive feedback that other people were giving me I had some really deep and
26:00
positive feelings and oftentimes I struggled to even believe that they were telling me the truth. That’s how deep I was in terms of lower self-confidence. But I want you to internalize those positive affirmations believe people when they tell you that you are beautiful that you are capable that you’re good at x y & z believe them and add it to your success document. Now, this next piece of feedback is really hard to do. And it really takes some time, but I want to get it into your brains now. And that piece of feedback is simply to be authentic. Be your genuine self, show up with all the good parts of who you are, no matter how unique no matter how different you feel that you are, you are necessary in that college space show up as your full self. We’re talking about imposter feelings which we said makes one feel like a fraud. But I would argue that the only time you’re actually a fraud
27:00
When you’re trying to be like someone that you’re not when you’re trying to cancel the good parts of who you are your characteristics, your culture, your way of doing things, your way of being. You’re trying to cancel all of these great qualities about yourself to mimic someone else’s personality when it’s not your personality. But you as you are, you are not a fraud, you are more than enough. I want you to embrace your unique self. Why? Because you are necessary. We can’t have the same kind of people running around the world. That’s kind of boring. So we need some difference. We need some diversity on the college campus. We need to see you as you are we need your unique thoughts, your unique perspectives, your unique experiences and your unique presentation how you show up how you dress, how you talk, how you act, how you walk, people on campus, we need to see that we need to be exposed to that difference and that’s why you are necessary you might be having imposter feelings because you don’t feel like you have enough know how or knowledge
28:00
about a particular task or responsibility, the key is to stay involved. The more involved you are, the more exposure you get. And what happens is you build that skill set that you’re looking for. And you can’t build that skill set. If you quit, you have to stay persistent or consistent, staying involved to get that exposure you need. Why? Because practice makes better. Maybe you are thinking perfect. No, practice does not make perfect no one can ever achieve perfection. And if you place that heavy burden on yourself to be perfect, you’re constantly going to feel like an imposter. So strive for better, you’re better than you were the next day. You’re not perfect, but you’re better to me, that’s a more doable, achievable goal to have that’s healthier, practice makes better stay involved so that you can get better and you’ll feel more confident in what you have to do. Here’s one of my favorite strategies and that’s to surround yourself around.
29:00
supportive people. Yes, you need to have that support system your friends, your family, people who believe in you, people who trust you people who know that you can perform people who view you as a competent person. Tell those people what you’re dealing with so that they can support you, empower you and encourage you to keep going forward. It’s also helpful to be communicative to communicate imposter feelings early. I love when people tell me that they’re dealing with imposter feelings because what that does for them is to release the tension from within themselves to get it out of their system. And they even feel freer and lighter because they’ve released this information. So as you’re communicating with other people and letting them know how you’re feeling, it’s also important to talk about your expectations so people could know some of your needs and some of the things that you want to achieve so that they can help you and when you have help from others, again, it can be
30:00
empowering, encouraging and give you the strength you need to move forward in your goals. As we’ve discovered, people oftentimes feel like an imposter because they have limited exposure. They don’t have enough skill set to feel confident in what they’re doing. But I have a secret for you. There’s so many things you can do that don’t require talent that require zero talent. Here’s a listing of things that you can do that actually require zero talent. Here they are. You could have good work ethic that requires no talent. You could be on time. You can also show effort in what you’re doing. Mind your body language, be energetic, have a positive attitude, show passion in the things that you’re doing. Be coachable. That means be willing to take feedback, be willing to take constructive criticism because we know that that helps one to grow. Also, you can do extra- that requires zero
31:00
talent. And last but not least, be prepared. Be prepared to participate. Now I just gave you a whole bunch of stuff that you can do to show up confidently and show up even as a competent person. But you actually don’t need competency to succeed in these areas. I’ve given you tips on how you can overcome imposter feelings for yourself. But I want to flip the script a little bit. My next piece of feedback is don’t be the reason why someone else feels like an imposter be somebody that makes everybody feel like a somebody’s way of doing that is to be inclusive. Being inclusive means you’re inviting people you’re cheering them on, you recognize someone might be silent in class or you recognize someone might be silent in a group meeting. You want to pay attention to those people because you would want someone else to do the same for you. So if you’re not
32:00
being intentional about including others, especially when you’re in a group setting, you might be accidentally excluding them. You might not intend to be exclusive, but then you end up being exclusive. If you’re not intentional about being mindful of others, you actually have the power to cancel someone’s imposter feelings. Another way to not be the reason why someone feels like an imposter is to always like I said, acknowledge people’s strengths, show people that you believe in them. You can also share about your own imposter feelings, have conversations and talk about feeling like an imposter because what that does is normalize the experience for that person listening to your story. That way, they could just be more relieved and knowing that they are not the only ones having these imposter feelings or that they are not alone. My last piece of feedback for this one is to always monitor your non-verbal expressions. I am a firm believer that non-verbal expressions speak louder than what you actually have to say when your facial expression
33:00
Looks like you don’t want to be around someone, but you’re saying something that is welcoming that person and so on. For me, when I see your face is like all scrunched up, and it looks uncomfortable, I’m going to pay attention to that nonverbal expression more than what you’re saying, right? Because our facial expressions and our body language oftentimes tell the truth about what someone is feeling when you compare it to those words or the verbal expression, I always look for non-verbal cues. And so I want to extend this information to you to be mindful of your nonverbal displays towards someone else. Are you being silent? What’s your body language thing? Are you interrupting people when they talk? are you glaring at someone? Are you not showing eye contact, all of those things can even impact how someone else feels. So what I want to do is to play a snippet for you to really illustrate what the imposter experience can look like. Now, of course, this is a podcast so you won’t be able to see the video but you can always go on YouTube,
34:00
type in the search and you could actually see the visual as well as hear the audio for what I’m going to play for you. This is a snippet from the TV series Master Chef, which is a food competition. And so you have Christine Ha. It was her turn to present her apple pie that she made. And so you have Chef Ramsey, who gives a critique and a judgment of that pie and in the video, you see her team members all around the building, watching her get critiqued. So I want you to listen in on the conversation the contestant Christine Ha has with Chef Ramsey:
34:40 Recording from Master Chef:
The judges have tasted six of the seven apple pies made for this pressure test. Christie has the last pie to be tasted before the judges decide who will be sent home.
34:52
Chef Ramsey: How are ya Christine?
Christine: I’m all right chef.
Chef Ramsey: Okay, first of all, I’ve never seen you that flustered and then with barely 18 minutes to go.
35:00
Chef Ramsey: You still, we’re not in the oven with your apple pie. What the hell is going on?
Christine: Honestly chef there’s just no excuse I was just was flustered. I just I’m not experienced with making pie at all so there’s just really no excuse.
Chef Ramsey: What do you think this pie looks like?
Christine: I think it probably looks like a pile of rubbish.
35:20
Chef Ramsey: Visually. It looks stunning.
35:25
Chef Ramsey: It’s a nice crisp dark
35:27
Chef Ramsey: brown color on the edge.
35:30
Christine: Thank you, Chef.
Chef Ramsey: The sugar was almost glazed the pastry. And it looks
35:36
Chef Ramsey: as delicious as Freds. So stop doubting yourself. Be bold, okay?
Christine: Yes, Chef.
35:48
Chef Ramsey: Pie underneath the pastry looks cooked
35:54
Chef Ramsey: Do you hear that on top? What does that sound like to you?
Christine: It sounds good and crusty.
Chef Ramsey: Good and crusty. So
36:00
Chef Ramsey: Stop feeling upset with yourself.
36:04
Chef Ramsey: Okay?
36:07
Chef Ramsey: You’ve got to start believing in yourself more, okay, come on.
Christine: [Crying.]
36:17
Chef Ramsey: There’s no soggy patch on there. That’s all the way around. Okay?
36:27
Chef Ramsey: Can you hear that? On the balcony you can hear that right?
36:36
Chef Ramsey: And it’s intact. Right in front of your very eyes. I have a wedge
Christine: Oh, thank God.
36:42
Chef Ramsey: of a beautiful apple pie.
36:45
Chef Ramsey: And the flavor?
36:56
Chef Ramsey: The flavor is amazing.
37:00
Chef Ramsey: It’s delicious. So well done.
37:05
Chef Ramsey: Congratulations. Really good job.
37:07
So for me, that’s a really touching scene. And the interesting thing about this video is that Christine Ha is a blind chef. She’s blind, she’s visually impaired, she can’t see. So you can imagine that her identity as a visually impaired person entering this competitive environment this cooking competition as someone who can’t see, so she’s already outnumbered or she’s the quote unquote, “other” in that competition where everyone else has their eyesight. So you can imagine the imposter feelings she might be experiencing in that moment where she feels like what she made was garbage. She didn’t believe in herself that much. And Ramsey was trying to tell her look, you have the skill set, but you just don’t believe in yourself. And I encourage you to believe in yourself because you have it in you. Don’t allow your difference to
38:00
make you feel like an imposter because you absolutely belong. You deserve to be here, you possess the skill set needed to thrive as a master chef, and she actually won that entire competition. I mean, her story is so inspiring when you would think that her difference is a deficiency when it’s really not she uses her other senses to perform and that is enough. She is more than enough. And that’s why Christine Ha became the master chef winner that year. Wow. I encourage you to go watch YouTube video, you’ll be inspired. As a student in college, think about this for yourself. Spend time thinking about when do you feel like an imposter? What setting are you in? Is anyone else in your circle in your life making you feel like an imposter? What do you think in those moments? What do you feel in those moments when you’re feeling like an imposter?
39:00
What is the setting? How do you behave? What do you think you can actually achieve if imposter experience wasn’t a barrier? What can you achieve? What actions are you going to take to address any imposter feelings you may have? I gave you a whole lot of different strategies, which one really resonates with you? And which one are you going to apply? So I’d love to learn your biggest takeaway from this session. What are they? I’d love to hear them. And if you want to share extra tips on how to overcome imposter feelings, please send them my way. I’m super curious to hear them. I encourage you to connect with me at thriveinpodcast.com where you’ll find exciting resources just for you. If you like what you heard for this session, and you so appreciate it, I want you to give this podcast a five-star rating and review. This will help other college goers find
40:00
this podcast. Send me a message on topics you’d like me to speak about and I encourage you to like me and follow me on social media at the handle DRIJCLC, which stands for Dr. IJ College Life Coach again that is DRIJCLC. I’m wishing you a safe, happy and thriving school year. Join me for the next episode. Love you.
